Many teenagers fall in love with their favorite artist or actor, for example. Usually these emotions subside and the stage of awareness of reality is reached. Girls and boys who long for their idol begin to wonder, "Is everything" buried "with him / her?" Is it worth suffering for an actor who may not even see live? ”
All teenagers go through a similar moment - to a greater or lesser extent. I will focus on two aspects - falling in love with girls and boys.
Research shows that this is a stage in the emotional maturation of the fairer sex, as well as an important step towards preparing for real love and real sex life. Falling in love with an actor or a celebrity is safe. The subject is unreachable. The girls do not worry that they may be "rejected" and their feelings hurt. They love their idol without worrying about the negative consequences of it (for example, unshared feelings). At the same time, the subject expresses the deepest desires for what the girl next to him is looking for.
Teen girls develop at least two years ahead emotionally than boys. In this case, it is quite normal for them (the first) to admire their idols more than music or cinema. The transmission of love emotions to them is a result of the need for girls to experience a safe relationship to which they have "access" in their thoughts whenever they want.
Teen boys also fall in love with their idols, but do not experience emotions as teen girls do. The leading moment with them is rather the sex appeal that the famous person has.
My message to those in a similar situation is:
The emotions you experience seem eternal, but over time they will gradually weaken. Maybe now you do not imagine that in the future you will fall in love with a real object. It will happen! I know this seems cruel to you, but one day you will remember those moments fondly. Don't worry about an actor or celebrity you don't know, but focus your energy on the positive here and now.
Do not allow yourself to ruin a friendship or relationship because of an entity that is far away from you. There are many cases in which teenagers say: "Some star" separated "us because I thought and / or talked only about him / her, I didn't pay attention to the people important to me and I lost them!" Well, yes, it happens because people are set up to take others around for granted while striving for something they can't have. The saddest thing is that they realize all this when they lose a valuable friend or partner.
It is important not to cross borders, because this invariably leads to crisis and collapse. At the moment you need to experience love "safely". Without this stage, you simply will not be able to reach the point where you will be emotionally developed. When this happens, you will be ready for true love. The real one.
And what is the difference between falling in love and love?
Some say that it takes time for love to appear, and falling in love comes like thunder from a clear sky. To get to know the person opposite you, you need to eat a bag of salt together (figuratively speaking). When falling in love, the primary instinct is leading. Blinding from the first moment. Stunning, the heart beats fast, it seems as if you are going to fly, butterflies flutter in your stomach. Despite the touching power of falling in love, however, the attraction is superficial.
Love also helps you discover in the partner both the qualities you like and his flaws, without causing you to split. Everyone has both good and bad character traits and the important thing is that you are OK together and looking in one direction. While in love prevents you from seeing something negative in the person next to you. Your tendency to idealize hides from you anything you might not like. You are delighted with the little good qualities of the person next to you, and under the influence of emotion, you think that in the future they will outweigh their disadvantages. But, alas, it's not.
Author: psychologist Maria Koeva
Follow the e-magazine "Psyche" on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/psihika.spisanie/